"Can you spot me?"

"Can you spot me" is a slang term that has been popularized in the fitness community. It means you help someone safely perform an exercise. Often used in weightlifting and bodybuilding.   

There are rules when you "spot someone". It usually happens when a person is doing some type of lift and has increased the weight they are lifting. If the lifter is concerned about that weight, they will ask someone to spot them. The trainers make sure we understand the rules when spotting someone. You can only help them once they start to shake and they can't get the bar back on the holders. DO NOT start to help until that point and they ask for help. Like everything that is done in the gym, it has to be done correctly. 

I was thinking how the line, "can you spot me?" also describes two types of people. First, "the people who just about get there but need a little bit of help". Secondly, are "the people who help others to get there". Asking for help is uncomfortable and hard to do; there is no doubt that most of us feel better rescuing or helping others. 

In other aspects of our lives, we all know people who are quick to rescue. They never watch someone struggle or shake; the rescue is already started. It is called "savior complex". It is the persistent tug in your gut, that voice in your head that says, "you are the one to fix it". It goes beyond empathy; it's a powerful impulse, a relentless drive to swoop in and alleviate suffering. 

The desire to help others is who we are as human beings. When it intensifies into pervasive and often an unconscious pattern it is the savior complex. You are not simply offering a helping hand, you are positioning yourself as indispensable, the key to open every door, the physician to every ailment. 

I think we all know at least one person in our lives that has the savior complex. It is extreme, but there is also the "rescuer personality" which is a lesser degree of "spotting someone". This type of personality is described as someone who compulsively helps others to the point of self-neglect, driven not by generosity but by a deep, often unconscious need to manage anxiety, secure love, and avoid feeling powerless. 

When I spot someone at the gym, I never move until they say, "can't do it". Those are the rules and I am also a rule follower. The coaches make sure we aren't a rescuer or a savior; we are letting that person push as hard as they can before they give up. How often do we let others in our lives push as hard as they can before we start to help them? How often do we push as hard as we can before we reach out for help?

I like the word, "spotting" and I think of how I use it in my world. I am not sure if this is spotting but I like to think of it as "spotting a situation".  When I work within a group I can easily off load jobs. I like to involve others in a project and the first thing I do is think, "who would be the best person to do this" and then I send them a message. There are people who wait to be asked. There are also the people that say, "tell me what you need me to do". Those types are the best because they will just show up and do what needs to be done. They often like to only have one job to focus on. Lastly, is the person that identifies exactly what they are going to do. All of those responses work for me. When this all comes together, I feel like I have spotted myself, I have worked past the shaking and succeeded.  

I feel that "spotting someone" is a quick solution to a problem. We have all had to rescue a person and a situation. It doesn't mean we have a savoir complex or a rescuer personality, it simply means we are human. Humans need to be there for other humans.