How many stories do I not know?

 

I believe the time that we question ourselves on "how many stories do I not know" is when you are sitting at a funeral. They are speaking lovingly about the deceased, and you are trying to figure out, "how did I not know that?".

I just love eulogies. It seems it is the one and only time that a person's life is shared in such detail. I come away from every funeral I attend saying, "I didn't know that". Many times, it is because they are acquaintances and of course you don't know everything about them. But there are times when I'm at a family funeral and I think, where have I been? Did I grow up in another family? How did I not know that? I start to wonder "how many stories do I not know?".  

I am always impressed with people who are so good at remembering details. They can repeat a story word for word. I remember Dad saying, "I don't want to repeat a story because I don't remember all of it and I would get it wrong". At the time I thought, just focus Dad, it is important that you remember the details. Now, I totally understand what he was talking about. When I try to recount a story, I find I am saying very often, "I can't remember exactly what they said". At the time when I am listening to a story, I think, this is unbelievable, I'll remember that. Surprisingly, when it is my time to retell the story, it is not as clear as it was at the time that I heard it. It is and always will be, my focus that is the problem, especially if it is a long-detailed story.   

Your story is also your legacy. A legacy identifies the principles and values most important to you. It describes the most important role you played in life. Your family role, work role and roles in the community are all part of your story, your legacy. Leaving a legacy is leaving something that will be valued and treasured by those who survive after your death. Legacy can mean you left your children money, or it can mean love and respect or a good work ethic.

Tell your story, write your story, share your story. A legacy is what people need to know while you are still alive. Both of my Grandmas lived well into their 90s. They had sound minds and great recall. I am so sorry that I didn't talk more with them about their legacy. My maternal grandma lost her mom, shortly after she gave birth to her thirteenth child. Grandma was 8 at the time. She went on and became a wonderful seamstress, creating her own patterns and sewing for others. How did she learn that? What must it have been like to be raised without a mom in such a large family. My paternal grandma came from Ontario in her teens, which would be a world away at that time. She raised 10 children and every one of them had such love and respect for her. I credit my Grandma for making sure all six of her daughters were educated. It took 25 years from 1940-1965 to have four nurses and two teachers in the family. In 1943, Grandma is pregnant with her 10th child, her son is at war and her oldest daughter is graduating from nursing. Pioneer women are remarkable. 

There is a time and place in your life when you are open to stories. It is not when you are the busiest, raising a family, working and doing all that is required to manage all the moving parts in your life. But when the time comes, make sure you embrace stories and legacy of the important people in your life. Don't miss those opportunities. If someone was to ask you "what is your legacy?" what would you say? I hope people would come away saying, "how did I not know that?".