What people see

For whatever reason some people feel they have the right to comment on the appearance of others. It is great when it is a compliment, but often it is not. I heard a talk show host say, "people's comments have shaped generations". They went on to say, "you don't have to comment on people's size, complexation, hair color or anything else about them, they already know. It is evident that people believe some things are their business, when in fact it isn't". I don't remember how old I was, but I do remember an elderly aunt say to my mom, "Faye is stout". I equated the word stout with massive. I really didn't have any idea what that word meant, I just knew how it made me feel. I am now 68 years old, and I remember that moment like yesterday. It was the first time someone had spoken about my size right in from of me. People's comments do shape you. 

I have found as we age it becomes meaningless how people look, but more of how they make your feel. It is about the first words that come out of their mouths and how they interact. I am a big eye contact kind of person. Most people are comfortable, others not so much. At the end of an interaction, we will come away with a formed opinion of that person.  

I am sure if you asked any woman that is middle-aged or older they would have a "hair dying story". My favorite story, which I know I have already shared, is about my friend who went to spend the winter down south. She left with her hair dyed the same color it had been for 20 years. She did it herself out of box. When she came back three months later, she was snow white with a little bit of the color on the end of her hair. She was a changed woman. She looked and acted 20 years younger. She said she had never felt so free. I have thought about what made her feel so free. Was it because now everyone knew she was snow white or was it the fact she didn't need to keep covering her roots. In any event she was loving the new her. It is crazy how some things impact a person, and for some reason this story impacted me. I feel whatever decision a woman makes about her hair, is just that, her decision because that is how she wants her hair to look.   

Hair is certainly one of the first things we notice about other people. I believe it is most noticeable when it is unkempt or when it is perfect. What I think is amazing is how some people get up in the morning and their hair is the same as when they went to bed. They run a comb through it, and they are ready for the day. Others will spend a tremendous amount of time every day doing their hair. I am neither of those people. I do my hair every day, and it is always a surprise how it is going to look. I am low maintenance when it comes to hair that is for sure. Both of my grandmas had beautiful white hair. Because of that, I have never been afraid to turn white. I have been blessed with natural curl, and I think it will work nicely when I have totally grey or white hair. 

When I meet someone, I have no idea how old they are, totally clueless it seems. My trouble is I think all "older" people are older than I am. Part of it is, I don't have any idea how old I look. We see so little of ourselves how could we ever keep up with our own aging process. 

When I people watch, I like to guess what kind of life they had. When someone is having difficulty walking, a bit bent over, it makes me think they have led a life of hard work. When I see an older couple well dressed, put together in every aspect, I think they are sophisticated. They have always had office or business jobs and appear well off. I love to ask people what they worked at in their lives. I enjoy trying to match their life work with what I see. I can usually pick out a teacher. They are the ones buzzing around, trying to organize everyone. Nurses are probably having an intense conversation with someone that they just met. I am often successful guessing farmers. They are the ones that either have all kinds of time to talk or they are just in town for a part and heading back to work. I find it very interesting as to what people worked at in their lives.  

To quote Taylor Swift, "People are going to judge you anyway, so you might as well do what you want". Taylor Swift is worth 1.6 billion dollars. When I watch Taylor I think, that is hard work. Night after night of performing at that level has to be exhausting.  

What people see extends to selling homes. It takes 6 seconds for someone to decide if they want to buy a house. The advice is to stage it, it sells better. That is in line with the 8 seconds that it takes for people to make a first impression. I recently heard that people never forget their first impression of someone. 

In closing remember, our bodies are our stories, our scars are our journey. Do you ever think, what do people see when they look and watch me? What do you see when you look and watch yourself?