Expectation Adjustment

Let's face it, some of our biggest disappointments have come when our expectations haven't been met. Sometimes our disappointment comes from the expectation we put on ourselves and we couldn't meet it. Or we may have expected something from others, and they didn't deliver. Probably because they were unaware of what we wanted or perhaps our expectations of them were to high or weren't in their plan. 

I have mixed thoughts when it comes to expectations. In one sense I think you have to have expectations of yourself to be successful. Whereas I don't think you should pressure yourself to be something, just to meet others' expectations of you. For me, my expectation for myself is, I do what I can. I try to do the right thing and to the best of my ability.   

I do have expectations that need adjusting to fit into today's world. I expect that people will go to work and work as hard as they can to do the best job they can. They are getting paid and that is my expectation. There are still many wonderful people out there doing just that, but again there are getting way too many that aren't. I recently stopped in at a secondhand store. The store is run by volunteers and that day they were all hands-on deck. These non-paid people were just hustling, going over and above to help others. At the end of the day there was no paycheck or overtime for them, just pride in a job well done. Which leads me to my second expectation, I expect things to be done in a timely and efficient manner. This list could go on, but I am going to leave it at that, I think you get the picture. I am adjusting to the new world, but it has been a work in progress. I am lowering my expectations and accepting it is what it is.

I have learned in order to make change; one must do self-reflection. We have all been guilty of doing more than we should. We get caught up in the situation and what needs to be done and very soon we get lost in it. We believe someone has to do it, and because we have faith in ourselves to do the best job, we are all in. Personal standards are what gets us in trouble every time. 

A result of not having our expectations met is not only disappointment but often self-pity. Jealousy or annoyance of others are often part of our pity party, and it is now spiraling out of control. There is a saying, "you can't help anyone else until you help yourself". It is like putting the oxygen on yourself first and then helping others. Being clear of your own expectations, or expectations of others is key. 

So, I have adapted the line, "expectation adjustment". Do we need to ask ourselves, "what is going on in the other person's life, that they can't meet my expectation?". "Is this an unrealistic expectation for myself and for others?". 

Maybe it is time for a good spring cleaning of expectations. A little adjustment never hurts in any situation. Working on ourselves is usually difficult, but so rewarding. I find healing and calmness comes to me when I embrace the saying "I have no expectations". It makes the results so much more delightful.