The Other Person

I am truly blessed to be able to say, "I have really good health". I feel because I have never had chronic pain or a chronic illness, it makes it hard for me to comprehend how people live with suffering. It must be horrible to deal with a health issue every single day. But that is not what this post is about. This post is about the "other person", the loved one that feels very helpless as they watch someone they care about, suffer.  

In my experience, someone with a chronic illness/pain will present in one of two ways. There are those that cope quite well and don't make their illness their life focus. They do the best they can to carry on as normally as possible, but from time to time their struggles are not manageable. These people have accepted what is going on with them, they are knowledgeable about their conditions, and for the most part they cope. To look at them you wouldn't know they had so much going on inside their body. Then there are the non-copers, the people that put their entire focus on their illness. Any conversation frequently leads to their sickness, their actions are those of someone that is ill, and they have very little interest in solutions that may help them.   

For those of you that have designed a way of living that you believe is keeping you healthy, I applaud you. There is lots of information out there that indicates to have "good health", you eat right, take supplements, exercise and get a good night's sleep. Well, I am living and breathing proof that is not the way it has to be. Remarkably, some people have good health with very little effort. For me, I believe it is partly genetic, but I also take care of things when something is off with me. The faster and grander the action, the quicker the response is what I assume will get me back to normal. 

This is my way of living that I believe keeps me healthy. Healthy living for me is to "deal with it". What I mean is I already have a wellness plan and as soon as I notice something is different with me, I implement the plan. I keep it simple by identifying just three areas to heal and here is how I do it:

Mind: I write. I talk it out with like people. 

Body: If something is off with my skeletal system, I have reflexology or thai massage. When the issues are immune, I take silver water morning and night for 3 days. I eat lots of oranges, hydrate more, gargle with salt water or peroxide. I bathe more with Epson salts. Since I have retired, I rest as much as I can. Your body can't heal if it is being pushed. I will take Tylenol or Gravol whatever is needed to manage symptoms. 

Soul: I find a cause to help others. I plan something that will give me a positive focus and enjoy. 

At the end of a day, I don't count how much water I drank or if I had eaten a balanced diet. My daily routine is simple: take two turmeric and chaga, write, do something fun and implement kindness. Nearly every day I obtain a sense of accomplishment from a task.

There is one thing that I feel has been paramount in my health program. I love to try new healing modalities and I have a regular routine of treatments. Healing by the hands of others is so important to me. If there is something wrong, which is rare, I am all in to find solutions. If someone says, "you should try this", I'm willing to do it. Sometimes with a google search, sometimes not. 

Lines like: "what did the Doctor say" or "did you get it x-rayed" or "did you get antibiotics" are often lost on me. I do believe I am not the norm. Most people with a chronic issue have lots of medical appointments, tests and medications to keep organized. It just warms my heart when I hear of these same people that add other modalities to enhance the effect of the medications and treatments. It is so much easier to be the other person if they can see their person is making their best effort to get better. These types of people are in control of their bodies and are not handing it over to others.

I spent many rewarding years in my career caring for the dying and their families. The whole focus of that type of care was to minimize suffering. I have always said, "there are worse things than death, and that is watching suffering". This may seem like a harsh statement, but for those of you that have watched suffering at the end of life, you will totally understand. It is such a helpless time for family members and all I can say is thank goodness for medication to help every system to minimize the suffering. The other person(s) in these situations are incredible people as they support their loved one the best they can. 

If you see yourself as the other person, watching suffering, my heart goes out to you. If you are a person with chronic illness, my heart also goes out to you. Take a moment to make a check list, are you doing everything you can to help yourself, is there something more that you can do to help in any way. Do you have a plan? Always know, the other person needs you to be the best version of yourself.