Wednesday's Wisdom

Entitlement: believing oneself to be inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment. People with this mindset believe that the world owes them without ever giving anything back, the rules don't apply to them.

Not sure how many saw this Facebook caption, but for me it was a wow moment of clarity. I have always thought no one owed me and I had to work for what I got in life, but obviously not everyone thinks like that. The word "entitlement" is becoming a much-used word and it sparked some wisdom chat for me today. 

It is a fact that parents want more for their children than they had. Research indicates that one of the reasons for entitlement is getting everything that you wanted as a child. It is rare to see a house with adult or organized kid zones.  Houses seem to be brimming with kid things, starting as infants.  I am always confused as to how many play areas and bouncy things does one baby or child need?  The market is so full of must haves, I am just overwhelmed. Not to mention the Dollar stores which is a great spot for kids to buy what they want with just a few bucks. I am not a "lots of stuff" person so it would have driven me crazy as a mom of today, to have so many things around me.    

Parenting is so different now, than when I was being raised or was raising my family.  Parents consult their children on everything, what they want to eat, where they are going, what activities they want to be in.  Following the discussion, the decision is then made.  Children are now being seen and heard.  Which makes me think about the many kids that got whatever they wanted as a child but didn't grow up to expect that the world revolves around them. I believe it is because along with the parents making the children's opinion important, they are also teaching them respect, manners, how to share and do good things for others.  They are role models for their children by also showing respect, manners and considering others.  Those parents have worked hard to provide a balance for their children. 

                

Entitlement is also described as adults that felt they didn't have much as children and now in adulthood feel entitled to whatever they want.  We all know those people that have a garage full of toilet paper, coffee and other goods with outdated expiry dates, or a closet that is overflowing with sale stickers still on the clothes.  I have consistently heard people that live like that describe their younger life as being poor.  They openly admit they can't help themselves they just have to buy in bulk and on sale. They feel entitled to fill their home up with things, lots of things because it was a good price, or they wanted it.  

I just recently started to receive my OAS, CPP and a pension from work.  Before December of 2021, I couldn't imagine just having money put into my bank account without working for it.  But then I thought I have worked for it, I guess I am entitled.  

I am not an excuse person; I choose to own my own actions rather than make an excuse for them. It seems using excuses and cancelling with others is becoming very common practice.  We have become a society that accepts this behavior and often encourages it.  I have always felt if I change my mind about something and it only involves me then that is okay. But to cancel on another person means I didn't make them a priority.  That person has cleared their calendar and is taking time to be with me, and I will return the favor.  Even if I haven't slept or I am busy or I may not even want to, I fulfill my commitment.  I have watched people consistently cancel for a variety of reasons and I think it is just a habit they have developed.  I like the fact that a person does not have to accept an excuse, we all need to think about that more.  

When I started work in 1976, I was so happy to have a job and I was willing to accept the terms and responsibilities of my new job.  Now, I feel before anyone accepts a position, the question is put out there to the employer "what do you have to offer me" as opposed to the 1976 "what can I do for you".  People ask for the wage and hours they want along with all kinds of opportunities as part of their hiring package.   I understand to work overtime now is very lucrative.  I knew I would get paid for my overtime, but I did it because they needed me.  It was my professional responsibility to make sure people were cared for.  I have to ask, "who is the fool here?" 

I believe you must give to receive.  It is not about being generous it is about giving of yourself to others.  I heard once you should give 10% of your wage away to charity or a charitable cause.  That is hard to do when you are just barely meeting your own needs.  I feel a more charitable donation is your time and talent if you have nothing more to give. 

The old saying "hard work never hurt anyone" may be a statement of controversy.  Hard work is not a bad thing, and I feel I have done my fair share of it.  Physical and mental work are both exhausting.  When I first started at the University, I knew that I was better equipped to work a 12-hour shift on the wards than one 8-hour at my computer.  My body was used to working and thinking on my feet, the whole sitting down was not familiar to me.  

In closing, I am reminded that good things in life rarely come easily.  We often take too much for granted.  We are all dreamers and at one point in our lives, we just assumed life would roll out like we planned. Whatever were we thinking, my life plans are totally different than the way I live. I can't begin to list the good things that have happened to me in my life.  I have had missed opportunities, but the way I have learned to live is what helps me be me.  I am always reminded that we rarely get what we want in life, but we do get what we need.