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Turn Pain into Purpose


I watched an inspiring piece of news about a 71-year-old man who had lost his wife of 45 years and his daughter. As a retired social worker, he was encouraged by his granddaughter, that lost her mom, to turn his pain into purpose. What this man does is: he sets up two chairs and a table in various public places and encourage people to sit and talk. He is taking a step towards hope and kindness shown by a total stranger. He is traveling all across Canada and is doing what he calls "lean into love, lean into life". 

I was at coffee with a friend whose husband had passed away just before Christmas. She said that everyone had left from Christmas and it was the first day she was on her own. She had no expectations of herself; she was just going to "see" how she made out. She said, "this is the process, this is how it's done and something I have to go through". One thing she was planning was to return to her volunteer positions; she was ready to give back. She said she needed routine back in her life. 

I happened upon an old friend from my "other life" as I call it. We were both in a Tim Horton's outside of Brandon. She recognized me, it took me a minute to place her. Her husband died suddenly two years ago. She described herself as "single" again, not knowing what that meant after a long marriage. She said, "we were empty nesters, we had a plan to enjoy life together". She has always been a practical person and accepts what is handed to her. Every year she travels to see her parents that live in another country, because as she says, "I can". She said, "you never know what life is going to hand you". In the two years of being "single", she had moved closer to her one daughter and visits her other children once a month. It was a divine intervention that we met that day. I came away feeling so good to finally have the opportunity to hug her and tell her how sad I was that her life plans were interrupted. She has plans to embrace her new community and knowing her she will turn her pain into purpose. 

We never know why some people do so much for others. Very often giving back is because someone has helped them somewhere along the way. One friend made a promise to God if she survived her cancer that she would volunteer to help others. Volunteering fills a need to be needed. It is an avenue to be around people that need help. It also fills the need for routine; routine keeps you moving forward. 

Turning pain into purpose is powerful. When a person is in a sad or dark place, it takes considerable work to rise above it. Someone will walk into your world and change that for you. No one can understand how you feel. Every situation is individual and creates their own depth of sadness. It is also unique how you turn your pain into purpose. What you may think as just recovering from your sadness, may be an inspiration to others. You will go from being the person that needs others, to the person that gives to others. Watching you maneuver your life, may be just what someone else needs to turn their pain into purpose. 


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