"7 Lessons"

A Death Doula provides emotional, spiritual and logistic support to someone that is dying and their family. Doulas offer a variety of support services. They help with the emotions and fears that are present with an impending death. When possible, Doulas will meet the patient and family prior to hospitalization. Together they make a death plan which includes end of life wishes, memorial services and practical tasks. Doulas are not required to have a medical background but take on the role of advocating for the patient's needs. Following death, they continue to support the families as they navigate their grief.    

I am sad I never had the opportunity to work with a Death Doula. I love the thought, that families can have a doula guide them at such a difficult time. What a blessing for the patients to have their own little angel, knowing and doing what needs to be done at the end of their lives.  

When I read an article written by a Death Doula, I wanted to share my takeaway. There is nothing new or startling in her words, just another reminder of life lessons that we can learn from.  

"7 Lessons on Living, what matters the most and how to avoid regret"

1. Don't wait - do things starting today. 

2. Be kind.

3. Today is special so celebrate. She suggests using those candles, and fancy dishes. Wear your dress up clothes. 

4. Learn to pause, find time to be still. Take one minute to look at something beautiful. 

5. Be true to yourself. Live a life diligent with your passions and values. Be honest about how you are feeling.  

6. Cherish the beauty of your ordinary day. It is the simple pleasures in a day that matters. 

7. No one dies alone; someone is there. For those of us that worked with the dying, we know that as a patient nears death, they will see a loved one that has passed. They are there ready to help them make the journey to eternity. What a comfort for the family to know, as they said goodbye to their loved one, they will never be alone. 

I have noticed when we speak about our lives, we will divide it into our professional or working life, and our personal life. When I reflect on my professional life, I feel blessed to have helped people at the end of their lives. When I worked on the palliative ward, I know I lived a more diligent life filled with my own values. I was a student of life lessons, the most profound being; how accepting the dying were that the end of their life was near, and how they had little regret.     

In my personal life, I know I need to focus more on the 7 lessons. I admire people that live their lives with no regret. The lessons the doula shared are easy to accomplish. A good start would be to celebrate each day, be kind, and embrace the beauty that life has to offer.