Parenting 101

Ben Affleck is a well-known actor. He and his son were shopping and his son picked out a very expensive pair of runners. Ben, like many parents is teaching his son responsibility. Ben's reply to his son was, "I'm rich you're not". Apparently, the runners were worth $6,000 and they are still in the store. Unlike any appliance, a child doesn't come with a manual. I am sure if parents' question anything they rely on a google search. I just did a quick search and there is an incredible amount of information on how to teach a child responsibility. Basically, it said: model behavior, provide clear expectations, allow consequences and guide their behavior. Ben was clear on his expectations, until his son had $6000 and was rich, he was not getting the runners.  

I have to say, it seems children have a lot of possessions. I am not sure how they acquire their things; I am assuming they were gifts. Most children not only have their parents that give them gifts, but they also have a long list of generous grandparents, aunts, uncles and friends. Presents arrive not only for birthdays and Christmas, but many other occasions throughout the year. The child's inventory of possessions is always on the rise.     

There is no doubt the job of parenting looks easy if you fall into one of these two categories: 

1. You have not had children yet.

2. If you have already raised your children. 

I am pretty sure we can all remember before having kids, how easy and structured the job of being a parent looked. We were not sure why parents weren't doing it the way we thought it should be done. It was going to be a simple process; the parents are the wisest and they will direct the children into adulthood. It was easy to pick out faults of how others were parenting and that would not be happening once you had your own children. And then the children arrived. Everything you thought you knew is not the way it is going. Most families are blessed with a child that doesn't appreciate the family rules. We all know them, they have one foot across the line, and the other one waiting to follow. 

I have the cutest story from my neighbors. According to them, their second child broke every rule in the parent rule book, and any other rule book known to man. They stated that after they had her, they "NEVER EVER" commented on how people should raise their children. Forty years later as they speak of it, it is like a flashback for them and some type of PTDS is evident. This daughter now has kids of her own and they are so glad to watch history repeat itself. According to them, they have been waiting for 40 years for this to happen.   

For those of us that have already raised our children, we realize "things are done differently now". Every generation had their own way of managing their children which was a "norm" at the time. It may have worked then, but like everything, times have changed.   

Parenting is so much easier when you are looking in, than when you are on the front lines. I do admire today's parents as the face the complexities of the world. There are two things I think would be the biggest challenges. The first would be technology. The second is the fact that the world isn't as safe as it once was. 

For those young parents reading this, time passes so quickly, cherish the "growing up" years with your children. They will need all of the tools you can give them to maneuver their world. Just remember to hang in there, you are doing the best job you can.