I recently told someone, "I can be the calm in the storm, or I can be the storm". I never do things unless they are in a big way, and when I am a storm, I am a weather warning on your phone. My preference is to be the calm, but I don't always get what I want.
It is evident that I am a little stormy when I am in a new situation. Being a member of Waves of Hope, Dragon Boat team has been a continuous exposure to new situations. Several of us carpool from Brandon to Minnedosa for paddling. There are 5 sets of duffle bags, paddles and life jackets in the back of a vehicle. We take everything, much of which we don't use. I usually follow what other people are doing, but one practice I went rogue. I couldn't for the life of me, decide what I needed for warm up. Which meant I had several useless things such as runners that we only use for dry land which we weren't doing. I could barely carry the things I didn't need. I made 3 trips back to the vehicle and it looked like a war zone by the time I got done throwing things out of my duffle bag and not putting them back. The icing on the cake was when one of the girls said to me, "did you know you have lost an earring?". I had gone with pretty earrings that match the uniform, as opposed to wearing practical ones. Things were not falling into place at all, and now I was down one of my favorite earrings. My focus shifted from practicing a proper stroke in the boat, to trying to figure out where I would find my earring.
The weather was also a little stormy and we ended up coming in early from paddling. One of the members said to me, "we will find that earring. We will retrace your steps and find it", and we did. She was the calm in my earring storm. Lo and behold it was right in the spot where the member pointed out I was missing one. If I had looked down to the ground, in that very spot, I would have found it.
In reflection of that night, I decided that was enough of that and I was going to be more organized the next week. The very next Wednesday, I couldn't find my glasses strap. Your glasses have to be secure, or you can't get in the boat. Everything I have in my duffle bag is once again all over the back of the vehicle and no strap. The calm and organized person I promised I would be, is making a frenzied mess. Gratefully, one member had several straps, and I got one from her and I was good to go. The vehicle once again looks like a war zone, but I am set to paddle.
We are now into the third week of this misery. Imagine my surprise when I found my original strap in my runner. Clearly, I thought that would be a safe place to put it and believe me it was. But the new pink strap is now missing. What on earth is going on? It was evident every practice was going to be stormy for me unless I nipped it in the butt. As a rule, I am usually extremely calm, I have no clue who I have become. These are not huge things, but it gets into my head and evidently it can create a storm within me.
It just never ends. I thought if I took the time to organize my pink duffle bag, I would be calmer. Lo and behold I found the pink strap, I now have 2 straps, which clearly, I need. I also found a pink jacket that was size Medium. Clearly, it was not mine. I had probably scooped up everything in the back of the vehicle at one point and that included someone else's pink jacket. I am not sure what is going to be the end of my new behavior, except that the season is nearly done.
I realize this is not a big thing in the scheme of life. I know I was frustrated with myself, and I assumed to others. We have all been with people who are always a "storm". They can't get out the door on time, they change their mind, they create chaos wherever they go. I have to support them in some ways, because I knew I was in chaos I just didn't know how to stop it. There needs to be a reset button to use, to stop the swirl of the storm. I think clearly and stay calm in serious situations, but apparently staying organized for paddling is too much for me.
I am assuming all the babble has made you think, "am I the calm or the storm?". What makes you become a storm and what keeps you calm? I think for 90% of the time I am the calm, but when I am the 10% storm, look out world.
❤️❤️
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