Life Changes

I am pretty sure most people can identify that moment when you are just doing your thing, and the next minute you are throwing clothes into the suitcase and hitting the road. Just recently, Mom had a bells and whistle kind of health issue and was being transferred by ambulance to the Cardiac Care Unit in Regina. Mom's age is against her, as she will soon turn 89. I never felt frantic about getting to the hospital. I had a sense of calmness that I was going to drive as safely as I could and be at peace with what was ahead. I was preparing myself that this could be the end of life for Mom, but for some reason I knew it wasn't. I felt that I would sense something if Mom were to die. 

The time I spent working with the dying and their family holds nothing but wonderful memories for me. I feel when it is the end of life that it should be all about comfort. The last thing I wanted for Mom, at the end of her life, was drama. Mom was transferred by ambulance from the small community hospital to receive all the care that is provided in a larger center. My thought as I drove was, is this fair to Mom at her age to ship her off to a big impersonal hospital at what could be the end of her life? Maybe we should of considered comfort measures provided at the small hospital for the remainder of her life. When I arrived it only took me seconds to realize the right decision had been made. Mom was being treated just like anyone else that comes onto the unit. I was defiantly late to the party and so many interventions had taken place in a short amount of time. Everyone had their role and was doing it with expertise and precession. This was the #1 lesson of many that lie ahead for me. Comfort is provided in so many different ways and age is not a factor.   

Then the messages started to come in, so many people had Mom in their thoughts and were praying for her. Lesson #2: the power of prayer. As Mom progressed with each new day, in remarkable fashion, it was evident that she was on a wonderful prayer chain.   

Lesson #3: it's hard to wait for word. When you are in the thick of things and you know what is going on, time flies. When you are waiting for just a snippet of word, time crawls. Designing a group text and sending it out takes time, but time well spent. It seemed that word spread quickly and so many people had their own little group texts going on. Just so many caring people in our lives. What on earth did we ever do without that kind of technology. 

The Cardiac Care Unit in Regina is unbelievable. It is just like the units you see on a medical tv show. The rooms are like suites, with glass doors so each patient is visible from the nursing station. I am convinced the unit was designed by the people that work in it, because it is so highly functioning. Lesson #4: knowledge brings comfort to the patient and families.  The staff that cared for Mom were experts in what they did. They had an answer for everything. They managed not only Mom's needs, but ours as well. They keep all the machines running in top notch condition and solve any problem they presented. I have always said, "knowledge is power", I now realize it is powerful and calming. 

I am a fixer and a problem solver. We all knew that Mom wanted quality of life, quantity was not something that happens when you are nearly 89. In order to fix things you must have all of the information. Insert patience, because in the medical world, unless in an extreme, extreme crisis, things don't happen very quickly. Once again, my thoughts went to, is this something that Mom needs, and could it be used for someone that is much younger that may need it to save their life? Lesson #5: Everyone should be given a chance for a better life, no matter what age. 

The waiting room became the room where you met the other families. One family had been there for nearly a month. They looked like robots, they knew the routine, every little corner of the waiting area, the staff, they had their favorites and shared what they could. We were the new kids on the block and someone new to share their story with. What do you say to a family that has watched their loved one code 8 times in one night and be brought back. We made friends with a Hutterite family from another floor. The chance meetings with them happened so often it was evident someone was putting them into our lives for a reason. Their concern for Mom was authentic and their prayers were added to the list of people that were healing her. Lesson #6: always reach out to others in a time of need. You may be the one thing that they need at that moment. 

In our family, we may suck at prayer, but we have a strong connection to our loved ones that have passed through feathers, coins and butterflies. A monarch butterfly paid us a visit outside Mom's window. Once he got our attention, he sat on the window ledge long enough to have his picture taken. The day Mom moved from the unit onto a ward I found a nickel. There was no doubt in my mind, Dad was keeping a keen eye on what was going on.

Lesson #7: there is no way you can ever repay the concern and kindness that people show you during a difficult time in your life. People are in your life to help you at those moments and all we can do is share our love and concern for others when it is their time.    

Elderly people are awesome in the way they approach life. The Cardiologist certainly didn't sugar coat anything. We were surprised at his words to say the least. But he also had solutions to the problems. Those solutions are what is going to give mom a good quality of life for the remainder of her life. That and a determined nearly 89-year-old. 

It was clearly not Mom's time to say good-bye to us. In this moment, it warms my heart to be able to share my lessons with each of you. You are never too old to learn lessons and new ways to help others.    

From the bottom of my heart to everyone who 
was part of Mom's journey. 

Mom is being released from the hospital today. She will recover at my place for as long as it takes. It seems unbelievable that 8 days ago this all began. The body is amazing in what it can endure and adapt to.