You can do Hard Things

 

I enjoy watching Master Chef, I especially like to hear the stories of how the contestants developed their passion for cooking. The following story for some reason touched me. A man shared that when his son went to his first day of school, he put a note in his bag that said, "you can do hard things". When the dad was getting ready to compete on Master Chef, his son wrote him a note which said, "you can do hard things". It started me to think about what the hard things are that we face in our lives. 

I thought of what my friends and families have had to endure, the hard things they have had to overcome. Some that quickly came to mind are death of a child, spouse or parent, getting a life altering diagnosis, chemo, dementia, losing your home to fire, divorce or financial devastation. I realize the list could continue to grow and I encourage you to add your own hard thing. I feel the hardest thing I have had to do was start my life over. For me it was a time of grief for my old life, grief for the life that could have been and fear as to how to navigate what was ahead. Some people seem to have to deal with many hard things during their lifetime, while others are spared.   

Having to face a hard thing leaves us with few options, you have to find the courage to do what you have to do. In my observations no one comes away from experiencing a hard thing without being changed in some way. Life as we know it is now different. When I think about accepting a loss, signing your name to have chemo or surgery, or relocating, one of the first reactions I feel occurs is overwhelming fear of what lies ahead. It's a time to dig deep and use as much strength as you can to face the day. It is a process that begins with getting through minute to minute, goes on to hour to hour, then day by day. Eventually the skies open up and life just seems a wee bit easier.  

I have total admiration for the strength that people demonstrate when they deal with a hard thing. I developed a line that made sense to me at the time of mom's fire. People were so kind, and I simply said, "it's just our turn". Thank goodness we take turns. It flips from needing support to giving support when a hard thing happens to a family. The sadness lies with families that have repeated turns. I recently started to say to a friend, "they say that time heals" and before I could finish, he stopped me and said, "time doesn't heal it, it just makes it easier". He was so right, in time, we start to move forward. 

There is always that one person that sticks with us when a hard thing happens. That person is still there years later, reliving the journey with us, if we need to do so. I am sure each of you can think of "the person", that stuck it out with you during your hard time. They were in it to make sure you survived. Thank goodness for those people during a hard time and beyond. They are dressed and act like a person, but really, they are our guardian angels. As my Dad would say, "God Bless".