When Lightning Strikes

On my last birthday, I received the book, "Aging as a Spiritual Practice" written by Lewis Richmond. It was a suitable gift for me since I am spiritual and aging.  There was a section in the book that immediately caught my attention.  It was titled "When Lightning Strikes".  A lightning strike according to the author, is the moment we wake up to our aging and we can see the full significance in our whole life.  Up until that time we have spent little time thinking about where our lives are headed or what it means to us.  Once a lightning strike occurs in our life, we think differently, it is like a tipping point. We stop thinking about the way we wished things were, instead we embrace how they really are. We accept that regret and celebration are all parts of aging. 

After reading those statements, I first thought of the people that have received a diagnosis of cancer or other life-threatening disease. I am sure among other feelings it would be when lightning struck for them.  Being faced with their mortality at the time of diagnosis would certainly create reflection on the aging process.  As the shock wears off and in the darkest moments, I am sure they start to think, would there even be a chance to age. I can only imagine the mixed emotions at that time in their life as they prepare for the future.    

For me, when I turned 65 it wasn't like a lightning strike, but it did wake me up to my aging and made me think about its significance. Turning 65 is such a milestone birthday and for me it was a year of celebrating. It was also the start of getting deposits of money in my bank account without working for it. I reminded myself that I had already worked for that money and here it was. It was a time of relaxation and all kinds of time for me.  I also began to think, "well here it is retirement and the rest of your life".  I was waking up I guess to aging. I realized I needed to become that retired person I had dreamed about. 

I do the math frequently and determine "how old will I be when.....". The first time I did that was when I was in my 20s and I thought I will be 44 years old when the new century arrives. I also remember thinking oh my god, 44 with a sense of disbelief of how old I would be!!!!  I was late to the Grandparent party and another calculation for me is, I will be 74 when my first grandchild graduates from high school. I often tell my youngest granddaughter "I'm 60 years older than you".  Those are big numbers, and I must remind myself, it's okay, just be a fun grandma.

My belief is that age is just a number.  Have you ever heard anyone say, "you look exactly like you should at your age!". Instead, we will often comment, "she looks good for her age" or "he looks older than his age".  For the life of me, I never guess age correctly. I am often shocked when I see someone that I feel looks older than I do, and the reality is they are younger. Not sure what age I am through my eyes, but clearly a younger version of who I am. Since age is just a number, who said we have to act our age.  There are people that act old, always have for some reason. Then there are the people that stay young at heart, move about quickly and truly have the appearance of younger than their years.  I like to stay young at heart.  I challenge myself to be able to talk to every age group about something that is relevant to their age.  I used to tell the students on the way to the wards to read the headlines of the paper.  That way they have a topic to discuss with their patients.  It is important to be able to talk to people about something that is of interest to them.  

I just loved this woman and her wisdom.

What is evident to me is that it is not about aging, it is about how we deal with aging.  I am not afraid of getting older, I am not panicking about having more time to do more things. I am a big "bucket list" person and I have made a list on each of the following birthdays: 50,55,60 and of course 65.  Fifty things on my 50th, fifty-five on my 55 and so on.  I write them down and then I reflect on my words on the next birthday.  I have a couple of strong beliefs that help make many items on my list become reality. They are: "what you think about you bring about" and "there is power in the written word".  Of course, a bit of a change up this year with 66 different things to do. I want every new year to be a unique celebration of some sort. 

I just love this quote.  I know I have wrinkles and if they are from laughing, I love them. I decided years ago to let my hair color be what it is, if it means I cared, perfect.  I have lots of scars, most are visible on the outside, but like most people I have scars that no one can see, because I lived!  

In my personal aging process, I have had more thunder than lightning.  I have given up wishing things were different and have embraced what really is. According to the book, that is acceptance of aging. I like to celebrate my accomplishments and probably I would tweak a few small things in my life if I were given a chance.   

As many of you read this, you will be able to identify your "lightning strike" moment.  You remember every detail; it is just as vivid now as it was when the strike occurred.  For the rest of us, we now have a name to put on our moment of aging that I guess is our "Lightning Strike".