How to be Successful

I have mentioned this book in a previous post and here I go again.  I just recently finished reading "Girl Stop Apologizing" by Rachel Hollis.  In her books she writes about her own personal experiences in the hope that she is giving women the tools to change their lives. I wish this book had been available to me forty years ago. I encourage each of you to read her book, there will be something for you to learn regardless of your age. I felt it really spoke to the working mom/wife. I am not a reader, and certainly not someone that can give a review of a book, so for me to be speaking about a book indicates how powerful her words were. One chapter in particular spoke to me and I thought I needed to make a post about it.  I loved her clear-cut direction on how to become successful.  Nowhere does she say, "you need more education".  She is helping to develop street smart successful women.  I found her approach to be a totally different way of becoming successful, and very thought-provoking. Everyone needs to determine what "being successful" means to them. It may be the best mom, wife, grandma or friend. It could mean you want to start a new business or career.  

Behavior #5: Building Foundations for Success

1. Get Healthy: 

Rachel outlines five strategies to get healthy.  She suggests if you can't take on all five at once, then do one at a time.  She believes it takes doing something thirty times before it becomes a habit.  I think trying this for a month would be a great way to get started.  

a) Hydration.  Rachel states to flush out toxins, every day you need to drink half your body weight in ounces of water. If you are under 120 pounds you will have some free time in the day when you're not either drinking water or going to the bathroom.  For someone like me, the water consumption would be similar to what a camel would require. I do appreciate the concept and I have a goal of at least 8-10 glasses a day. I have always felt that the more water I drink the more it increases my thirst.   

Half your body weight in ounces to me is in excess.  A wise old doctor told me once that people can over-hydrate.  You only need your urine to be clear once a day, which is an indication of being well hydrated. If you drink an excess of water your kidneys can't keep up and they aren't filtering as good as they should. Of course, so many factors like excess sweating and sickness are considered for water consumption.  

The world has become all about carrying a water bottle.  Children are so cute carrying their own water bottle, a drink is always available to them. Their parents are teaching their children how to respond to the sensation of thirst and helping them develop good habits of drinking more water, less juice and pop.  

b) Wake up early. It is suggested in the book that women should get up one hour before everyone else does.  I am sure that some of you gasped at this comment while others already do it.  I had to be at work very early in the morning, and I found doing as much as I could the evening before helped make the morning go smoothly.  Everyone has their own routine for getting out the door to work, school, daycare or wherever you are going. That hour may be the only hour in a day where you can be alone and do exactly what you need. Others may just enjoy pushing the snooze button.  

c) Give up a bad category of food. The suggestion in the book is to avoid one bad kind of food for 30 days. I really liked this idea, and my first thought was chocolate followed by bread.  I have heard that once you take a certain food out of your daily diet, you do forget about it. She does indicate if you cave and eat the designated food, you have to start over.    

d) Move your body every day for 30 minutes. As you know I am a Fitbit owner.  I have come to realize that when I knit, it thinks I am walking.  Not sure if that counts or not but I like it. Thirty minutes of moving is not a big amount of time and if it plays into being successful another practice to consider.  I think many would have to put their 30 minutes of activity into the hour that was designated for getting up early.

e) Practice gratitude. I have written in a previous post about being grateful for three things each day.  Rachel suggests taking 12 minutes at the end of a day to write down 10 things you are grateful for in that day. Of course, family, health, money, the givens are eliminated from the list.  Her thought on this is, if you make a conscious effort throughout the day to be grateful, you become more aware of your blessings at that time.  

2. Get your personal space in order:

Orpah says "if your home is in chaos, dirty or unorganized you need to wake up. Your home is a reflection of what is going on in your head and heart. Your home is something that you can control".

Rachel says, "women should organize their life and keep their spaces clean.  Space needs to be filled with reminders of your own vision". She suggests having quotes in the rooms of your home, that are a vision for you.  I have several meaningful quotes throughout my home, and I am sharing some of my favorites.  

 

Faye's quote she lives by is, "everything should have a place and be in its place". A "place" is on a shelf, in a drawer, cupboard or closet. At the end of the day, I make sure everything is in its place.  If it doesn't have a place, nor can I find one, it either goes in the donation pile or into the garbage.  I always thought of my office as an extension of my home, and it had the same rules as my home. 

I took on a practice years ago, after I heard Suzie Orman speak.  She said, "every year, you have to clean, sort and organize everything in your home".  At that time, I attacked every square inch of my home. In my former farmhouse there was a storage space that required a ladder to get into it, and once in there I had to crawl around. I thought, If I had to do that annually, I was only using the space for something that would be used only once a year.  It became the home for Christmas decorations and off season hockey equipment.  Both of those items met the requirements of being used once a year and cleaned. I feel that Suzie's point was, if you can't remember when you last used something, cleaned it or even looked at it, what value is it to you. I heard a rule once and it was to not store anything on the floor. Piling things on the floor states you have run out of space. Since this is about cleaning your personal space, take a look around your home and office and start to think what you can change. 

I have had so many people say to me, "I need to purge and live more of a minimalist life".  I often reply, "you need to be retired before you can really do that".  I say that because that is what I know. The accumulation of "things" throughout a lifetime is remarkable.  Now if you are decades from being retired, don't leave it until then.  You can start anytime.   

3. Build a great community:

I loved it when Rachel wrote: "you are a combination of the five people that you hang out with".  Isn't that the truth! I find if I am with someone that is negative by the end of that visit, I am a criticizing negative ninny.  If that person gossips, so do I. If that person can see the good in everyone, I like myself so much better and I see good in others right along with them. Clearly, I am easily lead.  I do love to have conversations about adventures and experiences.  It makes me "think and learn".  Rachel says to surround yourself with people that are better than you in areas you want to achieve.  It will lift you up to their level.  If you are the best in the room, you will be pulled down to their level.   

Oprah believes it as well.

4. Develop great habits:

A habit is a series of three things: a cue, an action and a reward.

A cue is a behavior that triggers action.  Rachel uses the example of emotional eating. Something has created anxiety, which is followed by eating, or a reward. Shortly after, more anxiety from overeating arrives and the cycle continues.  Teach yourself a better habit.  So many people chose exercise as the way of dealing with their anxiety. I feel like this is a good reminder to us to examine our habits.  Are they great or could they do with some development? 

5. Establish a morning routine:

By having an hour free before kids wake, you can set the day up for the type of day you want. Whatever it takes, make sure you start your day with focus.  If your day starts by feeling like you have been run over by a truck, it is doubtful it will be a good one. 

How to be confident:

1. Look confident. Feel good about how you look and if it means spending money on your looks, do it.  As women we all have those little luxuries that make us feel good and gives us confidence.  For some it is gel nails, others it is dying their hair, whatever makes you feel good just do it.  For Rachel it was breast implants. 

2. Act Confident.  I just love this!  How many times have you taken a deep breath, put a smile on your face and stepped forward into a situation you were terrified to be in.  Some people naturally act confident in any situation, and it appears easy for them.  I think that they have just done it so often, maybe 30 times, which makes them confident in any environment.  

A fun fact is that women feel they must be 100% qualified to even apply for a job.  Men believe they need to be 60% and they will learn the last 40%. I hate to say it, but I feel that men are right in their thinking.  

I love Katy Perry

3. Hang out with confident people.  By being with confident people you become more confident, I hope one of your five people is a confident person. 

There is a section in the book that speaks to wanting to change someone that is close to you. It is possibly the most frustrating experience you will ever have.  You gather your friends and get their support that your way of doing things is the best, yet things still don't change.  Hate to say this, but maybe you are going about it the wrong way.  It is a simple concept: "If you want to change someone, change yourself".  People change because they are inspired by someone else, not because they feel they have to. We all hate being forced to do something. 

The book reminded me that it is our job to show up for our own life and to fight for our dreams. Not one other person can make you successful. I hope at the very least you will grab on to one of the ideas in this post.  You got this girl!