A Leader or a Follower

I recently had a wonderful time visiting with my family in BC. During that visit, I helped with Strove Tuesday at the kiddo's school.  Strove Tuesday is celebrated with pancakes and my job was to make the pancake batter for the entire school.  Dan had provided his wife's Royal Royce of a stand-up mixer, just an amazing tool to prepare a large amount of batter. Although I have a stand-up mixer, it was not evident in the first few batches.  Running the mixer took some getting used to, and my sweater and the floor took a hit from time to time, but I eventually mastered how to use it. I looked like the batter, and I were at battle and the batter won. I am an organized cook but a messy one, that is a fact, which on Strove Tuesday was evident.  The best part was I had my own little assistant or, as I referred to her "my staff".  Desiree arrived and took over the sink.  She immediately filled two pails of water for any mess that may occur in the gym.  One hundred and forty children eating pancakes probably will cause a mess.  Then she took on cleaning up the batter making area which looked very much like a war zone.  She told me just make batter and she would look after the rest.  She was true to her word, and I was living the dream.  Someone that thought like me, take on a job and just do it.  After everyone was fed, I asked her "are you a follower or a leader?". She said she could do either, but as a follower only give her one job, to do.  She thought she had only one job but I feel she had many.  She was like the kitchen manager, she knew where to find everything, directed people and looked after me, which wasn't an easy task.  It reminded me how much I enjoy volunteering and especially with people that love to volunteer just as much as Desiree. The whole morning was so much fun and a warm and fuzzy experience for me. Desiree was definitely the leader that morning and I was very much a follower. 

I had a conversation with my flight seat partner on the way to BC.  She said she was not a leader she was a follower.  I shared with her that I can do either.  I believe if you are a leader you must have confidence in what you are doing, make sure everyone is working to their strengths and never lose control of those you are leading.  A leader should be able to do all the jobs beneath them.  That to me makes a good leader.  A good follower, takes on a job, then puts their head down and does their job.  If a follower strays away from their job and tries to help another follower then chaos happens. That is the leader's job to keep things moving smoothly and support the follower that needs it.  

I enjoy asking people if they are leaders or followers.  Usually, you can tell which one they do best.  I once asked a former client if he could be a follower.  I knew he ran his own business so of course he could lead.  Strong intuition, clear organization skills and great work ethics rounded out his leadership abilities.  He admitted he could follow but first he would listen to the leader's plan and see how it unfolded.  If it went okay, he just followed but he was never afraid to step in if the leadership went poorly.  People that are good leaders can make a poor leader feel like they are doing a good job just be guiding or assisting them.  

Being a leader is admirable, but so is being a follower. I think that I would be a leader more often than a follower.  Unless I am in a situation where I have no clue about what I am doing, and then I follow right along.  For instance, they didn't want me running a grill and cooking pancakes.  Not saying, I couldn't learn but that is a gender specific position, and the men were doing an amazing job. Even when they fell behind in pancakes, they never faltered.  They never altered the delivery of pancakes, they stayed at the same speed, never increased the number of pancakes on the grill.  There was not one burnt or undercooked pancake that went to the students. They were okay with the students waiting to be fed, and in reality, they were.    

It is always a fun time to be around little ones and play again. During play time, I learned Nintendo Switch, sort of.  I was handed a controller and my role was the hat for Mario.  The leader of the activity was clearly, my Grandson.  His words of encouragement were "focus Grandma, focus".  I assured him had he told me how to play I would have done a better job.  Clearly, there was no time for a training or orientation program.  I eventually got it with the assistance of my granddaughter, but I will always be a Nintendo switch follower, that is for sure.  

My six-year-old granddaughter is eager to learn, the lesson being how to knit and sew. I thought I was the leader in the sewing project until I looked over and she was adjusting the machine.  You betcha, every button setting on the machine was on the move and ultimately going to deliver a different stitch pattern and tension. It's just buttons right, and even though we didn't need zig zag we had it.  Young minds are powerful, and I love that they will take on anything with excitement and independence.  

I always pack books to read when I travel.  I read "Girl, Stop Apologizing" on the way home.  I turn down pages, so I remember key parts of the book.  Most of the pages are turned down so clearly, I have lots to reflect on.  The theme of the book is to encourage women to go after what they want, stop apologizing for not being the "good mom", "good wife", "good everything".  In other words, be a leader in your own life.  There is nothing more powerful than when a woman makes up her mind that she is going to do something.  The only thing is it is often not something for herself. Women need to manage their time in creative and interesting ways in order to be a leader in their life.  I watched my daughter-in-law work from home.  She could jump on and off her computer with total focus.  During the morning routine, it may only be for 3 minutes, but it was a productive 3 minutes.  In the book the author speaks about running her own business and working on her laptop at her kid's karate practice.  A way back when, I got into the habit of taking paperwork to any appointment to utilize the waiting time to be a productive experience. I was leading in my own career, staying organized and on top of things was part of my sanity. I was living the life of never having an empty moment, which is the way many women live. 

One thing I feel strongly about is that you must be a leader in your own health. I go to a Nurse Practitioner; they are trained to make a health plan with their clients. They seem more open to new ideas and "trying" different approaches than most doctors do.  With that said, I know many people who have awesome doctors who consider what the client thinks will work.  All too often, I have heard people say, "my doctor says I should take this".  Do you think you should take it? Our responsibility is to know what is going into our bodies and why. Just lead your health journey, there may be areas in your health that you are okay with not fixing. I remember being told by my Dentist, I needed a root canal, and I asked him "why".  I love my dentist but his response was out of character for him.  He said to me "why don't you want a root canal?".  I said to him, "I have never had a root canal, I just need you to tell me why I need it".  He did and I said "okay".  Asking a question of the health professional is not questioning their ability, it is educating yourself.    

I have come to realize that you have to be your own leader in retirement.  I never realized until I retired what people's expectation of being retired is: travel, go down south in the winter, move close to family or other life changing adjustments. I had no desire to do any of those things, so I wondered if I actually got the retirement role right.  I have to admit I never thought my retirement would consist of knitting, doing puzzles, blogging, baking and spending more of the day relaxing than working.  When I look at my calendar and there is nothing on it, it makes me happy.  I have lots of days to plan a lunch date, watch curling, write or any other thing that crosses my mind. Pretty simple and sweet little life. I have to admit it took a year to admit I do have a sense of contentment about my retired life.  

In closing, my message to you is, you need to be a leader in your own health, wealth and happiness.  All too often we look to others to lead us in these areas, which may work for some.  I feel it is so much more empowering if you take it on yourself.  Lead on in your own life!