Happiness is

"We are all responsible for our own happiness", is a catch phrase I learned a very long time ago.  My response and I am assuming yours is "why".  Why do we have to be responsible, there are some things in life that are easier if others do them for us, providing happiness would be one of them.  It is true that other people can help us to feel happy, but the bottom line is to sustain happiness is our responsibility. As we all strive for a better life we need to add "being happy" to the list of self-care activities we try to manage.   

Identifying goals or what you want to achieve in life is one of the ways you can provide happiness to your life.  For the majority of my life, I confidently identified myself as a goal orientated person.  I even have a journal titled "Bucket List".  With a bit of sadness, I have to admit that since retirement identifying goals has become a bit clouded for me.  In all honesty, I am finding it harder to determine my goals and what I want to do with my life.  That feels odd for me, since I thought it would be easier in retirement, because you have nothing but time to think about your future, what you want it to look like and how you are going to make it happen.  

Recently, I had a great conversation, with someone that is as passionate about goals as I am, or was, and will be again. We spoke about vision boards and how their purpose is to achieve goals by sticking pictures or words cut out of a magazine onto a board.  You then put the board in a place where you frequently look at it and visualize your goals happening.  Goals are meant to bring happiness when you achieve them. For us this makes perfect sense, for others not so much.  If you want me to gasp and my heart skip a beat say, "Goals, I don't have any goals".  How on earth can people not have goals, to me it is like saying you don't have a will.  I am not sure how popular vision boards are anymore, but in the past, they certainly were, people even had vision board parties.  Oprah introduced us to "The Secret" and we were all trying to do the law of attraction, "what you think about you bring about".  The vision board fit nicely into that process.  I have made many a vision board, I loved to go through magazines and the whole arts and crafts project put me in a happy space. I think I would be surprised if I were to make another one!!!!!!  

I was inspired by a movie where the actress would ask people "what was the happiest day of your life".  I have asked that question of myself and others.  The answer doesn't come as quickly as one would think and it is often not what I expect that person would say. I also learned from the movie if you don't feel the happiest day of your life has arrived, it is yet to come.  For those people that have had a hard life and haven't had a day of happiness, what an exciting thing to look forward to. I encourage you to ask yourself or someone close to you "what was the happiest day of your life".  

There is considerable work involved in being happy.  It is obvious that happiness is directly related to what is going on in your life.  Sadly, some days because of what life has handed us or because of how we are feeling, it is so much easier to be unhappy. Those days may only have happy moments, but we need to grab onto them.  So many people do a gratitude list at the end of the day, maybe we need to add the three happiest moments of the day to that practice.     

                       

I am a much happier person when I am around positive people.  I find if I spend too much time surrounded by a lot of negativities then I will eventually be pulled into those same behaviors or complaining sessions. This leads to idle gossip, and I end up not being very happy with myself.  I have to have a time limit on negativity and then I walk away.  We all know those people that can hardly get through the door, with their dark cloud they insist on pulling around with them. I read once to take an assessment of how you feel around the five people in your life that you are closest to. If they are negative or simply not an overall positive influence in your life, then you may want to reconsider how much time you spend with them.  In other words, after being with a friend you should feel one of two ways.  Do you feel great, have a big smile on our face, can't wait to do it again and reflect often on your time together.  Or do you feel burdened and exhausted.  One of the hardest things to do in life is purge our friend list.

                             

Nothing makes me feel more unhappy than when I compromise who I am, and I don't respect my values.  I think we have all had those experiences where we come away saying "why did I do that? I am better than that". The more that you hold onto your values, along with the more that you actually honor them at the same time, then the happier you will be overall.

When I hear the words "there is going to be some changes made", I have such a sense of euphoria and anticipation.  My mind is already racing to contribute my ideas to the changes.  I am one of those people that loves change.  On a personal level, I have had some drastic changes in my life, and I have to admit I am pleased with the happiness I ended up with. I feel change is an opportunity to start over with a blank canvas or push the reset button.  

                                 

My takeaway from this post about happiness is, that I have to find my purpose in retirement.  I have been pondering a lot of ideas, but I need to make a list of what I really enjoy doing and why.  The list needs to include my hobbies, likes, loves and interests.  I read an article with a long list of simple things that make us happy. Here are some that spoke to me:

- Sleeping in a freshly made bed

- Finding money in unexpected places

- Laughing so hard it hurts

- Freshly made bread

- Doing something for others

- The clean feeling after a shower

- Finding a bargain in the sales

- Freshly brewed coffee

- Bacon cooking in the morning

- Rainbows

- Swimming in a lake

- The Royal family